... okKatie ...

WTF did I just do?

I just agreed to go on a date at 9:30 AM. For a bartending class. Where I’m pretty damn sure there will not be ANY ALCOHOL.

Dear Lord… Help me. I’ve made a huge mistake.

With all the excitement and hot dates I was getting on okcupid, my friend, Little, decided to join OKC to find her some man candy/find new friends in a new city. Anyone from Seattle who wants a new friend? Lemme know.

Little is still new to the OKC world aka HOT commodity. It’s like fresh meat and all the turtles are snapping. 

Back story on this message: In her profile Little mentioned that she likes bulldogs & this gentleman messaged her to tell her that he stayed with his ex because of the dog. In jest, she asked him, “Did you ask to see the dog when you broke up.” This is what our fine lad responded with: 

“Sept 17, 2012 – 9:11pm

NO, other ex’s of hers had already tried and it was awkward hearing about it. seriously. The one that bothered me the most was the former porn star that she visited in L.A. that missed her dog. That was even more awkward of a conversation. She had a 6 hr. “layover” where she had lunch and a nap with him and they talked about the dog the entire time apparently. I didn’t find this out till she was of the plane… most likely because he was still in the porn industry as a filmer and was always hanging out with really slutty ladies… that is what she said, exact words here. so… No… No conversations about the bulldog. I found out last year that she was sick and passed, though. I was keeping tabs on her. I am talking about the bulldog now. not my ex. Every time I would show up at her house she would head charge me and knock me over and cuddle me. Sweetest dog alive!!!! so whats the story with your sisters dog? There is one that walks around my neighborhood. It seems pretty old. They have short lives so it is hard to tell. How is your week starting?”

Dude. You just talked about your ex for like a paragraph. AND there was a porn star involved!!!! 

The dating world is a scary, scary place, y’all. 

Started talking to a new guy, who (so far) seems really awesome. We’re trying to make plans and his days are free, but his evenings are kind of busy. 

So. I asked him if he was a gigolo. 

THANKFULLY, he is not. I don’t think… 

And welcome to my dating life on okcupid: where it’s possible to go on a date with a gigolo. 

Sorrrrrrrry! I went on TWO(!) dates last week and have yet to report! 

I promise to write. But in the meantime, my dear macyd prepared a visual snack of what awesome men are barking up her tree. 

Towel. Placement. Y’all. 

In my most recent okcupid message, to a guy I might actually like, I said, “Here’s my number. So text me maybe.” Palm/Face.

Yeah, I sent that a few hours ago. I’m guessing he’s not a Carly Rae/Katie fan?

Haiiiii guys !

Sorry for my longer than brief vacation, but IF YOU CAN BELIEVE IT, I wasn’t getting a lot of bites on the ole OkCupid, but then this past week happened and it was like I was the prettiest pony at the fair! I got like 7 messages that ranged from the ever seductive, “Hello.” to a cute and (seems) normal guy who messaged me about pickles… Hint: pickle talk will get you a message back from me. Of course, I’m pretty sure I scared him off with asking him what his favorite 80’s song was and then linking not one, but TWO of my current favorites. (If you were wondering, they are Sister Christian by Night Ranger and Nothing’s Gonna Stop us Now by Starship.)

So yeah…. as you can tell, things are PEACHY here ! 

I know I’ve been low on the funnies lately, but I promise when I get back from LA I will dedicate more time to the pursuit of hot, er available men on OkCupid.

In the meantime, check out www.ewoktravels.com

See you soon!